Well this was unexpected (never mind that I was told to expect it). Tim and I did the pre-op visit with my surgeon yesterday in Houston and she postponed the surgery! New scans show chemo is working well, shrinking all the cancer. The primary tumor and all affected “bulky lymph nodes” have reduced by about half, and there is no new activity at all, so the surgeon wants me to do 2-3 more rounds of chemo to continue progress. This will make the surgery less risky and more effective in the long run.
This is all good news of course, so it probably surprised everyone in the room when I burst into tears. But I didn’t come here for halfsies. I wanted it all gone in three rounds, like Muhammad Ali or Mike Tyson and his weird ear thing. I honestly feel so good that I thought I could take cancer in 3 rounds with a complete KO. Where are all my long-suffering eternal optimists – can I get an amen? Our rose-colored glasses are firmly in place, and we optimists don’t always leave room for anything other than our sheer determination that all will go according to our plans. When reality hits, it hits hard. So yes, there will be tears.
As it turns out, my surgeon is from the great state of Colorado and she was quick to offer a mountain climbing metaphor which I appreciated. She understood the tears and said it’s like getting to the top of a mountain only to realize what you’ve been looking at is a false peak and you still have more to climb. This exact scenario has one thousand percent happened to me and I know myself well enough to know that when that happens I just need a nice 30 minute rest and then I can keep climbing.
So… I’ll take in the views from here, rest for a minute, hydrate, maybe slam a PBJ. I’ll be ready to hike again in no time. Good thing because Round 4 starts today.
Kick it with Charla 
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